Guest Etiquette: Dos, Don'ts and Dips

by Marjorie Dorfman | More from this Blogger

11 Nov 2006 09:04 AM

Good manners are not something we are born with: they evolve with our social and cultural growth and help us emerge as thoughtful, caring humans. When they are genuine, manners reflect a good heart, and they are as important as anything any of us will learn in our adult lives. So where did all of this go wrong at the party last week? Read on for some thoughts.

As a guest, there is one important skill we can utilize and can take home with us after the party is over. I am talking about the ability to listen, which takes years of practice and concentration. For most people (myself included) it is a work in progress, but it is a goal worth striving for. If you think about the most fascinating conversation you ever had at a social function, it most likely involved someone who was listening with rapt attention to what you were saying or vice versa. It is an important skill in this world of techno-telecommunication and guests who no longer write thank you notes by hand. I have one friend who always writes to me after I have her over for dinner. To write a note takes time and that's one commodity we are all selfish about.

Dipping habits are important because they can be very annoying and unconsciously reflect one's true lack of manners. In an old but tried and true study conducted by Land O' Lakes, guests were asked what they hated most about other people's dipping habits. The survey revealed the following in order of annoyance: 1. Double dipping This is a no-no faux pas, which involves scooping from the community bowl, taking a bit and then, alas, re-dipping.

2. Tasting the dip with a finger. Self-explanatory and gross!

3. Digging a submerged chip out of the bowl by hand. This a party not a hunt for buried treasure, folks.

4. Eating straight out of the communal dip bowl. Why not just lick up all the dip when everyone is looking? You will turn everyone off instantly!

5. Sticking foods into someone else's dip on his or her plate. Who invited this person anyway?

Stay tuned for more politically correct and incorrect dipping suggestions.

Related Reading:

"Cool Cocktail Parties"

http://forums.families.com/easy-party-ideas,t36833

Learn more about Marjorie Dorfman

Marjorie Dorfman is a freelance writer and former teacher originally from Brooklyn, New York.

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