Your Bathroom: An Altered State?

by Marjorie Dorfman | More from this Blogger

10 Sep 2006 11:12 AM

Jerry Seinfeld once referred to the bathroom in his mother's house as an altered state. He did not need drugs nor was he even considering them, as his reality was already significantly altered by his mother's arrangement of things. The roll of toilet paper, for example, didn't look like toilet paper because it was incognito by sporting a knitted hat. (It declined a nametag, for that would have been just too embarrassing.) He says, "The toilet paper had a hat, the dog had a sweater and the couch arms and backs had little fabric toupees to protect them."

Don't let this happen to you! Tell your toilet paper to be proud! Everything under the sun has its purpose on earth and needs self-respect in order to live a clean and healthy life. Seriously speaking, is your bathroom a nice place to visit (even if you wouldn't care to live there?) Do dead plants (or even fake ones) stare at you from the shower or down from the ceiling or shelves? Do something to freshen things up. Bathrooms have feelings too! Here are few ideas!

Take a shower with your plants. You will love it and so will they. God only knows what repercussions can occur! They may be unstable and have some identity problems for a while afterwards. Perhaps they might even think that you have taken them far away to some rain forest where it rains and soaps all the time. They may become delusional, but at least they will be watered and HAPPY plants.

Put a glass shelf up somewhere to accommodate your smaller toiletries. This will free counter space and make you feel you are in a slightly larger "altered state." (What's good for your plants should be good for you too.)

Stay tuned for more bathroom tips.

Do YOU have any? Please share.

Learn more about Marjorie Dorfman

Marjorie Dorfman is a freelance writer and former teacher originally from Brooklyn, New York.

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